RyansWorld: Zero Calorie French Fries

From Future

Zero calorie French Fries are unnutritious French fries that started as a fad in Northern Europe in the 2040s and later spread worldwide. They are advertised towards diabetics, active people, and people on reduced calorie diets.

[edit] Principal of Operation

In 2006 we can only speculate as to the technology used to achieve this. Non-metabolisable margarines and cooking oils were already available in 2000, so the problem is with the potato not the oil used for frying.

• One suggestion is that potatoes of the opposite handedness (right handed molecules rather than left handed) will be grown, and that as their Alice-through-the-looking-glass amino acids cannot be incorporated into normal metabolism this results effectively in zero calories. That this could be achieved in the 2040 timescale seems unlikely.
• A more plausible suggestion has been that GMO potatoes will incorporate endogenous enzymes, trypsin inhibitors, that inhibit digestion. However this would have unpleasnt effects on the consumer's digestion that we leave to the imagination of our reader.
• The general consensus amongst expert potatologists is that the zero-calorie potato will arise as a side effect of GMO modifications to increase the shelf life. Our suspicion is that in making the potato indigestible to bacteria, it indirectly led to making it unmetabolisable by humans - and so of almost no nutritional value. The advertising spin treated this side effect of increased shelf life as a benefit, with great commercial success.

Post 2040, the increasing commercial success of zero calorie French fries led to research to take it further, into possible negative calorie variants. Outlandish though it may sound, celery, which takes bite energy to consume it, and iced coffee (without sugar), which takes body heat to warm it, both are negative calorie foods. Could this be done for potatoes? Perhaps not surprisingly, consumer testing of more rubbery French fries and of iced French fries proved disappointing.

[edit] Adoption

• Northern Europe (Norway, Sweden, and Finland) was the first region to accept zero calorie French fries in the early 2040s, followed by Western Europe and Southern Europe in the mid 2040s, followed by Eastern Europe in the late 2040s.

• Africa and Asia also accepted zero calorie French fries in the late 2040s

• Australia and South America accepted zero calorie French fries in the early 2050s

• North America and Central America accepted zero calorie French fries in the mid 2050s
  • Canadamerica accepted them in 2055, making them the last nation to accept them

[edit] Nutritional Details

There is some considerable confusion about the nutritional value of Zero calorie French fries. Again, whilst this is partly speculation, our understanding is that they do not contain metabolisable sugars, carbohydrates or proteins, but they do provide trace minerals, salt, and vitamin B1 complex. Please update if you have more information.