RyansWorld: Post-rock generation

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Special Note: Please note that this scenario meant to be read as entertainment, not as an accurate prediction of the future. Also note that the viewpoints and opinions that may come across in this scenario are not necessarily the viewpoints and opinions of the author.

The post-rock generation: people born on January 1, 1997 (12:01 AM GMT) or later. They spent their adolescent years listening to either world beat music, dance/electronica music, and/hip hop music/or indie music. This generation will be the first to fully embrace in vitro meat; although most will develop a vegan diet until in vitro meat becomes affordable to the working class. Not all people in this generation will get into in vitro meat, while the increase of attention deficit was caused by a deficiency of zinc and other nutrients. By giving people multivitamins instead of expensive pharmaceutical drugs, we can solve the problem naturopathically. Famous TV personality Dr. Mehmet Oz helped to prove this back during the start of the Great Recession.

Rockese will be the unofficial language of the post-rock generation; most of their songs will eventually adopt this manufactured language. In fact, 9 out of 10 members of Rockese Wikipedia will be people born in the year 1997 or later. The other 10% will be born between 1986 and 1996 (also known as the borderline post-rock generation). Monster Milktruck will be the prefered driving simulator of choice for the members of the post-rock generation that either choose to drive an automobile or are forced to drive an automobile to get to places. Words along the lines of "amongst" and "whilst" will make a comeback with the post-rock generation; they're already commonplace on English Wikipedia and are more familiar to the young people than the words "among" and "while."

Most of the world will be an upbeat place for the post-rock generation; with the obvious exception of Japan, the Eurasian Union and the United Kingdom.

Childhood and adolescence

School life

Assignments in their high school years will be more interactive and computerized; most will be taught how to use an up-to-the nanosecond virtual encyclopedia long before they are taught to copy notes from a frequently out-of-date physical encyclopaedia. In the year 2015, the oldest members of the post-rock generation will congregate in universities, colleges, and in cities to listen to world beat music and dance/electronica and discuss plans for their future lives. The recession will almost completely bypass their generation; directly hitting those born between 1975 and 1995 the most instead.

Those who remain in small towns however will persuade their town councils to transform their antiquated downtown shopping core from a car-friendly environment into a pedestrian-safe indoor shopping mall with youthful stores and low prices for the masses (instead of medium to high prices for the local cultural elite).

The 2014 Little League World Series of Baseball will be the first important baseball tournament to feature members of the post-rock generation. Years later, the 2028 Major League Baseball All-Star Game will become the ultimate professional baseball event for the post-rock generation. Compressed natural gas shuttles will transport Little League baseball players and their parents/adult guardians to and from games once the price of regular gas reaches $10/gallon ($2.50/litre).

Most parents of children born after 2012 will see that the overcrowded and underfunded public school system isn't teaching their children anything but what the government wants to be true. In return, many stay-at-home fathers with some sort of Internet access agree that it's better to homeschool these kids on Wikipedia (where the facts are completely neutral and uncensored by the government) instead of allowing them to continue attending school (and become prone to government propaganda). Children with parents who can't afford to stay home will continue attending the public school system and learn off Wikipedia in their spare time.



While members of the post-rock generation will listen to world beat music, their counterparts in Finland will listen to heavy metal music sung by dinosaurs.

Young women born in the year 1997 or later will start to rebel against the bra and start wearing camisoles for the support of their breasts. Some of the more creative women will take their bras and camisoles, combine them together with their mother's sewing machine, and quickly become the most popular females in high school.

The Brony/Pegasister fandom established by people born after 1997 will continue to flourish, leading to novels, horror films, thriller movies and eventually PlayStation 5 games being based on My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle would be the preferred ponies of the post-rock generation while their Brony/Pegasister parents (if any) are drawn more towards Pinkamena Diane Pie (Pinkie Pie) and Fluttershy. Teenagers who did not become to become Bronies or Pegasisters or Other Commites formed after the 2nd Golden age of Western Animation will also have interactive anime pads to act out their adolescent fantasies.

Most anime produced by 2026 may feature graphic homosexual acts of sexual intercourse will be sold in mainstream stores like Wal-Mart and most online shopping websites. This change in Japanese entertainment caused the Pope to denounce anime as a source of "Japanese corruption for the young people." Of course, the Pope will also denounce half the world for legalizing same-sex marriage by the year 2030. The world will be so liberal that even devout Catholic nations will have either legalized gay marriage or have considered it by the mid-2020s. Interactive anime will have voice actors and actresses from all nationalities including Japan, India and Nigeria. Premium anime films starring the legendary movie star Ella S. Gordon will eventually become cult classics by the year 2080; being sold only in seedy flea markets on the Lunar Protectorate.

Hotmixradio Dance, an online music station based in Paris, France, will become the preferred radio station of the post-rock generation. They will shun local radio and political awareness for fast-food quality entertainment. Members of the post-rock generation that do vote will find that youthful political leaders do care about people who can't work for a living like househusbands and college dropouts.

Adult life


Typical humor level of the post-rock generation.

Most members of the post-rock generation will be in favor of cohabitation and common-law marriage instead of getting "legally married." Only same-sex couples, Roman Catholics, Mormons, Hispanics and conservative-minded people ever consider a legal marriage to be a possibility in their lifetime. Even with the drop in legal marriages, people still have babies; especially couples of African and Central Asian descent. Many young people born after 1997 will see the marriages of their parents and older siblings (who were born between 1967 and 1982) fail as money disputes eventually turn into extramarital affairs.

Humor that mocks the ideals of legal marriage, in-laws, and being part of a "conventional nuclear family" will be accepted by most people born after 1997. Vintage newspapers are easily accessible from the Internet and allow the post-rock generation to take a sneak peak into the past. The last of the really expensive weddings will be held around the year 2021. People have learned to become more frugal because of having to go through the Great Recession; deciding that simplicity is more important than 20th century elegance. By the late 2050s, weddings have become almost as outdated as African tribal rituals revolving around "coming of age" and "becoming a man."

In the year 2023, this generation will become very concerned about the Daylight Savings Time Crisis as it occurs. They also get briefly affected by the January 19, 2038 problem with the computers but eventually develop the computer and science skills to solve the problem almost completely. By the year 2044, the ideal wife of the post-rock generation will be black with super looks, preferably Jewish or Muslim, who speak English and Spanish. By 2077, everyone will be dating Asian or Hispanic atheists with advanced computer skills, advanced science skills and some experience with hacking.

By the year 2050, most members of the post-rock generation prefer to hang out at Taco Bell, Pizza Hut Bistro and Starbucks Coffee if they don't have any kids with them. Otherwise, they go to McDonald's, Steak 'n Shake or Little Caesars. There will also be more senior citizens than young people by the year 2050; with most of the young people leaving for employment opportunities on the Martian and Lunar colonies. By the year 4004, the Earth becomes mostly a nature preserve - providing a conservative lifestyle for those who can't or won't leave Earth.



Starting in the year 2032, the members of the post-rock generation will either enter politics, professional blogging, or other well-paying skilled jobs that they work from home. They will revolutionize the economy and people's attitude towards politics and democracy forever by making nations interdependent on each other. This would ultimately pave the way for an United States of Earth by the start of the 22nd century. Robots, genetically enhanced cyborgs and nanobots will handle nearly all outdoor manual labor by 2050; relegating most hazardous jobs to the past for human beings. Due to the abundance of jobs related to robotics, genetics and nanotechnology, the average income of a North American resident is 900% higher in 2045 than it is in 2015.

They will leave the unskilled factory and agricultural jobs to the nanobots so that they can live their lives being wined and dined by employers and their work project teammates. For the politically minded, the leadership skills that they have gained through massive multiplayer online role playing games and the political skills they gained by playing SimCity will determine their destiny as tomorrow's leaders. Depending on their system of beliefs, the conservative members of the post-rock generation will fight the wars of the future while the liberal members will become conscientious objectors. They will start campus protests and study to become pacifist leaders. By the time that a person born in the year 2001 retires from the workforces, cars will run on hydrogen and/or compressed natural gas instead of petroleum gasoline.

When the Singularity occurs in the year 2045, the oldest members of the post-rock generation will feel its effects at first. But after people become extremely intelligent in the year 2060, and declare that world beat music is no longer popular or erudite, these people will eventually feel like elderly people while still practically in middle age. Meanwhile, people who were born in the year 2047 or later will prosper with their newly found intelligence. In order to differentiate between people born between the years 1997 and 2046 and people born after 2046; the "older" generation will simply be referred to as the post-rock generation, while the "younger generation" will be referred to as the enlightened post-rock generation.

Video gaming

NASCAR's Car of Tomorrow will lure members of this generation who are interested in driving race cars to the Google Cup scene with its video game like controls and handling. If they are lucky, they will get to defeat up-and-coming racer Kyle Busch before he retires from NASCAR. By the start of the 22nd century, air racing emerges from the genius minds of multi-billionaires. This sport has stuff that impresses the post-rock generation like floating race tracks, plasma-powered hovercars and trivia mini-games related to late 21st century/early 22nd century popular culture.

A devastating crash in the global video game industry would occur on January 19, 2038 that would bankrupt most video game companies; stifling the creation of new video games for decades. Nintendo will become a home appliance company becoming very popular by former hardcore gamers after being bought out by Facebook and promptly renamed Facebook Nintendo (任天堂はFacebookの技術を使用して). Sega would start making slot machines and divert their gaming to the adult casino world while Sony would divert their game making staff back into making new TVs and Blu-Ray players (in addition to building indoor theme parks to compete with Sega's in Dubai).

Facebook Nintendo's Oculus VR would break even during the Gaming Depression, passing the muster as "educational simulation software."

By the year 2078, it will become commonplace for members of both the post-rock generation and the enlightened post-rock generation to be playing video games again. The three most popular places to play will be at shopping mall gaming kiosks, Internet cafes and in their places of residence. Sony and Facebook Nintendo (née Nintendo) decide to make hardware and software for video games again while Microsoft chickens out and focuses on personal computers, tablets and smartphones.

On a scale of 1 to 5 how would you rate the future of people born in the year 1997 or later?

The poll was created at 20:18 on May 19, 2014, and so far 24 people voted.

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