RyansWorld: Kurzweilmas

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Special Note: Please note that this scenario is meant to be read as entertainment, not as an accurate prediction of the future. Also note that the viewpoints and opinions that may come across in this scenario are not necessarily the viewpoints and opinions of the author.

Kurzweilmas will replace Christmas as the major gift-giving holiday of Western civilization. But some thousands of years later Christmas is reinstaled as the third greatest holiday after the Kurzweilmas and the greatest feast Easter/Pass Over.

Raymond "Ray" Kurzweil, the namesake for this holiday, is an American author, computer scientist, inventor, futurist, and is a director of engineering at Google. Ray Kurzweil grew up in the New York City borough of Queens. He was born to secular Jewish parents who had escaped Austria just before the onset of World War II. He was exposed via Unitarian Universalism to a diversity of religious faiths during his upbringing. His unitarian church had the philosophy of many paths to the truth – the religious education consisted of spending six months on a single religion before moving onto the next.

Ray Kurzweil has been described as “the restless genius” by The Wall Street Journal, and “the ultimate thinking machine” by Forbes. Inc. magazine ranked him #8 among entrepreneurs in the United States, calling him the “rightful heir to Thomas Edison,” and PBS selected Ray as one of 16 “revolutionaries who made America,” along with other inventors of the past two centuries. He is considered one of the world’s leading inventors, thinkers, and futurists, with a 30-year track record of accurate predictions.

Kurzweil was the principal inventor of the first CCD flatbed scanner, the first omni-font optical character recognition, the first print-to-speech reading machine for the blind, the first text-to-speech synthesizer, the first music synthesizer capable of recreating the grand piano and other orchestral instruments, and the first commercially marketed large-vocabulary speech recognition.


At first, only the families of scientists (and liberal politicians) will celebrate his holiday on December 21 to honor the "father of 21st century scentific philosophy." As the world becomes more secular and less Christian, people will start to relate with Raymond Kurzweil's various works more than they could ever would with the Christian holy bible. When Kurzweil (finally) passes away in 2048, the world will declare him an "unofficial saint of science and a credit to 21st century society." It was thanks to Kurzweil that people put nanobots in our planet to eliminate things like pollution and autism. Raymond Kurzweil will post these "Modern 10 Commandments" before dying of nanomolecular disease:

  • 1. Farmers, you will not put chemicals in your food, soil, or water. Homeowners, this rule also applies to your grass, your flowers, and your bushes.
  • 2. Nanomedicine should be included in all universal healthcare programs.
  • 3. Use of the nanobots to cure mental disabilites should always be free of charge.
  • 4. The celebration of Kurzweilmas is to honor the sole inventor of the Singularity (a fact of life from year 2045 onwards).
  • 5. People should not be allowed to renounce the Singularity or attempt to bring society back into a more primitive state.
  • 6. Resolving military conflicts and policing the known world/universe should only be done by robots with non-lethal weaponry.
  • 7. Cars should come with artificial intelligence (driverless cars) and should never have to rely on fossil fuels.
  • 8. All jobs with a chance for a fatality should be done by robots and not human beings.
  • 9. Everyone has the right to a safe non-life threatening job, a home, and at least a high school education.
  • 10. Inherited wealth should be abolished; all wealth must be self-made. Money held by a deceased person will be placed back into public ownership instead of a private estate. All goods owned by the deceased will be sold at private auction and all proceeds will be put into local charities.

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